Saturday Headache Update

Everyone has been exceedingly sympathetic and kind in asking about how I’m managing my migraines. I still feel a little foolish about calling attention to them, but I do appreciate the concern. Since you asked…

Early, early Thursday morning after several sleepless hours I took yet another sumatriptan, which allowed me to doze off for a few hours before dawn and get through Friday. Since it was the kids' last day of school, being an upright, functional person was important. Also, Jamieson had been in Japan for business all week (bit of stress a contrbuting factor to these migraines, perhaps?), so our evening plan was to pick him up at the airport. I got through the day okay. There was just that haze of potential headache. I think it's what the medical folks call "prodrome," the symptoms are building. I had some hope. When Jamieson texted me that his plane had landed in California, I felt a weight lift. Maybe, just maybe the psychological cause of my pain would abate now that he was almost home. Despite Friday night traffic, we made it to O'Hare with plenty of time to ride the people mover to the terminal and wait for Daddy in person. We were all very happy to get him home to us. 

Unfortunately, I had indeed overdosed on the sumatriptan during the week. Four days in a row had caused rebound headaches so I woke up with a doozy.  The doctor's appointment that I made yesterday and thought I might be able to cancel today because I'd be fine: nope. I went. It was disappointing on several levels. There was a very worthwhile neighborhood event that I very much wanted to attend today. Between my aching head and now Erik's incessant cough (hello, end-of-schoo-year cold), that was not to be. So, I spent my morning at the clinic and got a prescription for a steroid pack that is supposed to knock out this flurry of headaches. I've done this twice before in recent months. The first time it worked quickly. The second time, a little less quickly. Today ... so, so slowly. Only now, almost twelve hours after taking it, am I starting to feel the headache abate slightly. That could also be from also taking the additional prescription that was promised to not cause the rebound problem. It's basically an amped-up acetaminophen. Not something from which I expect miracles considering the average Tylenol works on me as well as Pez. Oh, and I've used it before, too, with minimal effect, but that was during a pregnancy, so other hormonal factors were at play then. 

So, I'm not a present laying on the couch moaning, but I'm not out of the woods yet. It would be spectacular if I could just take an Excedrin at the first sign of a headache and carry on, but even prescription medications don't work consistently for me. I would love to know why, so I'm seriously considering doing allergy testing to see if there's a piece of the puzzle there that I'm missing. Beyond that, I'm not sure what else I can do at the moment. I'm just hoping for a better day tomorrow. 

The Failure of a Headache

Migraine has me down tonight. I've been battling headaches all week. My medications aren't keeping them away and I'm now experiencing piercing pain that has been growing in intensity all day. I should just go to bed, but I know I will just toss and turn. In a way, although my head is throbbing, it's a bit better to keep a little busy, albeit at a much slower pace. Still I can't turn off the voice in my head that is shouting at me with each pulse of pain, "You've failed." When the headaches get bad, I don't hide it. I often announce it on Facebook, even. I don't mean to fish for sympathy. In a way, I just want to ask for forgiveness: the reason why I am -- today, at least -- dropping the ball is that I'm feeling like giant evil hand is gripping my skull.

Meanwhile, I'm slinking through life. Even when I don't have a headache, there's the shadow of possibly getting one that haunts me. So, I can't enjoy what I eat, especially when I eat out a restaurant or at someone's house, because I suspect the food may cause me grief. I look at weather reports with trepidation because those startling changes our dear Midwest loves to give us often brings me pain. Worrying brings on a headache, some say, which annoys me because what kind of weak-willed person lets their emotions bring them down so pathetically? Nevertheless, here I am having a week of headaches and now today, the day when I can't even attempt to turn to strong pharmaceuticals for help because I've reached my weekly limit, I lack the energy to feed my children a coherent dinner. "Who wants to cook for Mom?" I joke. "I will!" says the 8-year old and they all get excited when I raise no objections to cereal for dinner. Sure, that's a fun treat for them, but I'm thinking of what a nutritional void it is and how I'm already giving my daughter a complex about eating. She proudly announced she does not have a headache tonight despite having a hot dog for lunch at the school picnic. At least they ate strawberries for dessert.

There's so much I want to do as a mom. I want to do all the basic food, clothing and shelter things a parent ought to do. I also want to model service for the children. I want them to see their parents helping others and I want them to have the opportunity to take care of their friends and their community as needs arise. Unfortunately, even on my best, healthiest days I am so worn from doing the basic food and clothing thing for my three darlings that I'm too pooped to do much beyond maybe cut out a "Box Top for Education." On a headache day? Can't drag my butt off the couch. And yet, not a block from my house are more than a handful of families in my very own neighborhood with real issues who deserve a meal, a listening ear, even just a potted plant on their doorstep and I don't have the energy to get that done. I feel like I'm failing them and failing my kids for not showing them how to serve their neighbor. For crying out loud, I get headaches. It's not cancer. I'm not dying. But it feels like my head is cracking open and it's messing things up. What's the deal? How hard can it be to eat a healthy diet, do a little exercise, have one pill that actually gets rid off the occasional headache and go on with life? Apparently, that's too much to ask. Stupid headache, go away. We have things to do.

Naf Naf Bandits

"Take a picture of the camel sign, Mom!" 

The food thief struck again. We went to Naf Naf Grill in Naperville in honor of Jamieson's birthday. I could not have been more excited about my Veggie Feast plate. It was so colorful and so flavorful ... and so popular. William kept taking the falafel for himself. He is my food thief. What's on my plate is always worth much more inspection than what is on his. We thought he would be content with several personal pitas, but he wanted to work his way through all my falafel, too. (He did go back to his own plate, too. Those pitas are not to be ignored.) I'm glad he enjoyed the falafel, but next time, he's going to need a order of his own so I can enjoy more of my own dinner! Meanwhile, I had to claim my own pitas for dipping since Erik and Anna kept grabbing pitas for munching. Jamieson was happy to help me polish off the Hummus and Babba Ghanoush -- what are those great flavors in the Baba Ghanoush? The extra side of rice didn't last long enough for me to get more than two bites. Erik said that Naf Naf is his second favorite restaurant after 2 Toots and a person should always get to go to their favorite restaurant on their birthday. Anna wanted to add Chic Fil A to the list. William hasn't committed to a favorite place yet, but the overall list seems pretty well well-rounded list for kids. Happy birthday, Jamieson! Now let's figure out how to make those pitas at home!

My scrumptious Veggie Feast before William started eating all the falafel